“Imma kiss you. Stop squirming, I’m trying to kiss you! Move your hands so I can kiss you! Just stop and let me kiss you! I’m not asking here! My breath only stinks because you don’t brush my teeth! Look, this is happening so just knock it off!!!…” “Hello. Did you enjoy that shower? Good. So listen, you obviously feel comfortable enough to get changed in front of me so I feel like we’re at a place where we can be honest with each other. With that being said I have a question for you: When are you going back to the Jalen Hurts Philadelphia Quarterback Dots shirt also I will do this gym?” “Oh really? I was just outside 3 minutes ago? Thank you, Captain Obvious. Now open this door and let me out again. And remember: You pick up my poop. That’s the power dynamic in this relationship. Now open this door so I can give you something else to pick up. I’m going to watch you do it, too…” FEED ME, CLEAN MY LITTER BX, FEED ME AGAIN, CHANGE MY LITTER. WASH MY FAV BLANKET. TRUST ME, I HAVE FIVE. THEY EACH HAVE THEIR OWN PERSONALITIES.
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